Blue
by Beyond'x
Summary: This is a Fault in Our Stars fan fiction! Hope you like it! It is about a girl called Blue and her story with her family and friends! Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Hey thanks for reading this! I really hope you like this! This actually took me ages to write! About 3 days! Anyways please review, follow and favourite! Thanks again!

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own The Fault In Our Stars!

Blue POV-

I am not depressed, I promise! I would just rather spend time in my room reading than socialising with people! I mean, I don't mind my family but sometimes the sheer amount of them annoy me! I don't have a mum or dad. They both just left us when we needed them most. When I was diagnosed. But it is ok. All of us brothers and sisters live together now! This is the order of them, oldest to youngest. First, there is my older sister Cameo, she is the oldest of us all and she is 22, then my oldest brother Coen, he is 20. Then there is my other older sister Aliz, who is 17. Then there is the triplets who consist of me, my sister Scotland and my brother Arian, we are all 16 and probably get on the best. Coleman my brother is 13, Maxon my only other brother is 10 then my sister Cameo's daughter, California who is 6 and my brother Coen's daughter, Raphaela who is 18 months. Cameo and Coen's partners don't live with us because neither of them have partners anymore, they claim it was because they were both just not interested in having a relationship with anyone. I know the real truth and that is that they were too stressed with me because my condition is only getting worse.

"Hi, I am Blue Clarke and I am 19, I have Primary Cardiac Tumour , also known plainly as heart cancer, which is really rare and my condition is only getting worse. I now also have Cardiac Fibrosis, which is stiffening of the heart muscles, Marantic Endocarditis, which is Interference with the heart valves and obstruction of blood flow through the heart, which were all caused by Primary Cardiac Tumour. " I say in reply to Patrick.

Then the cycle continues with everybody talking about themselves some people find it incredibly difficult, like me, whilst others find it easy, like Jess. Jess is my best mate, she goes because she has Squamous Cell Carcinoma (Skin Cancer). Jess has a surprising amount of confidence. I mean, she has scaly, has raised skin on the area where she has the cancer (her arm). That is what I really lack in, confidence. It is because of all my scars. I have had so many operations and none have them have lasted. I have horrible scars all over my chest, neck and arm. People call me for them. I try to hide them but they hurt to touch. Especially the most recent ones! That is another reason I don't leave my house. Sometimes people come to my house. Wait, no, that was a lie. Sometimes _**Jess**_ comes to my house. But sometimes, people can reach me even when I am at my house. I have had things put through my letter box telling me I am ugly, people have thrown rocks at my window with notes attached calling me Scarface. They don't understand. They don't know I have heart cancer, because I never tell them. They don't know I am going to die, but I do and every day I know I am one day closer to my death. I vow not to get too close with anyone knew. I was to leave as less of an impact as possible, because I know, I am like a grenade that is going to go off at any moment and leave people hurt.

When the session has finished. I go to leave but am stopped by someone. I turn around and it is somebody from the support group. He just stares at me.

"What are you staring at?" I ask him

"I'm sorry but I just find you gorgeous!" He replied. I give him a confused look.

"Oh I forgot, I am Alex and you are?" He asks.

"Blue." I say shaking his outstretched hand. He slips something into my hand then, simply walks off.

Open the crinkled piece of paper Alex pressed into my hand. It reads:

Alex- 07946754986

Call Me 3

I am so flattered. And confused. I'm not sure why he wants me to call me. I mean I am ugly as! I decide I will call him later tonight. So I look interested but not desperate. Jess meets me outside as she is coming round mine. We get a lift home of Coen and then he goes back out to get us some chips, well chips for everyone but me. I can't have fatty food as it mess' up my heart even more so I am gonna just bung so chopped up potatoes in the oven and pretend they are the same! I mean I am not complaining! Enough people have told me not to complain because I am lucky I have lived this long! Most people don't know how long I have had my cancer. Even Jess doesn't know! I have had it for 6 years now. But I told Jess I have only had it for 2 years as it was 2 years ago that my doctors started making me go to this stupid support group, which Jess was already a member of. I remember that day so clearly. I remember the look of pure shock on her face. I didn't even tell her I was going in to hospital apart from one time when she was meant to be coming round but I had to cancel and it was the day of an emergency operation I needed. But even then, I just told her I had fell over and that Cameo was getting paranoid because to be honest with you, Cameo is a very paranoid person! You can really see who are the paranoid ones in my family. The day I realised who was paranoid and who wasn't was a week after I had an operation and I had been discharged and I began to get chest pain. Bad, chest pain. Scotland and Arian were really worried that something had gone wrong. So then Cameo and Maxon started to worry as she believes me, Scotland and Arian have some weird ability that because we are triplets we can sense when something is wrong with the other person. Whilst my other siblings; Coen, Aliz, Coleman, were arguing that I was fine. They were saying it was probably just the stitches. To be honest, I actually agreed with them. I was wrong. It turns out it was an infection but I am getting carried away now!

Once Jess had gone home, me, Arian and Scotland snuggled up on my bed and watched Kerrang like we do every night. We have to share a room because there is nowhere near enough for one each. Cameo, Coen, California and Raphaela share the biggest room, Maxon and Coleman share the next biggest room as apparently they need more space to play and stuff. Then finally, me, Aran and Scotland share the smallest room. To be honest none of us care because we are actually really close, with being triplets and all.

Anyway, we are watching Kerrang and I think all the best bands are on it! I mean, Paramore, Asking Alexandria, Korn, My Chemical Romance, Evanesence, Nirvana! It is literal perfection! We indulge in dried apple slices and homemade low fat toffee sauce, it actually tastes a lot better than it sounds! Whilst it is the advert break, I slip out and call Alex. My hands are shaking. He answers,

"Hello."

"Erm, erm." Is all I manage to say.

"You know the usual response is "Hey!"".

"Ha ha very funny." I say sarcastically. That is basically how the rest of the conversation goes. After about 30 minutes, he tells me he has to go because his favourite band has a program on Kerrang, then we have a quick conversation about Paramore (that is what the program is about) and we both agree that the Riot album is the best! Then we both go back to watching Kerrang after arranging to call at this time tomorrow night and an argument about who hangs up. I ended up hanging up by the way.

I get back to Scotland and Arian and we snuggle up in my bed, I have the bottom bunk, Scotland has the middle and Arian has the top, even though the ladder doesn't reach that high(he just jumps off). Then, it gets late (well late for me). So we all go back to our own beds and go to sleep, we have to wake up early tomorrow. Or Arian and Scotland need to get up early for school and I get woken up by them.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you for reading on! I am glad it didn't send you running for the hills! Anyway, please review! I love to get advice on how to improve and I also like to know what you liked so I can continue to do it! Thanks again! I have changed where the story is set and when the support group is actually on!**_

_**Disclaimer: I obviously do not own The Fault In Our Stars!**_

_**Blue POV-**_

I wake up before anyone else today. I am awoken by a terrible chest pain, I should tell my sister. But... she will just panic and fuss and to be honest, I really can't be bothered with it! I decide to just grin and bear it today. I stand up and immediately need to sit down again because I feel dizzy and unstable. Second attempt now and I manage to stumble into the kitchen. I need to sit down when I get there though. Right, I feel better now. I make myself a cup of black coffee like every morning and I sit down and text Alex. I don't want to seem desperate but I am so terribly bored! He doesn't reply. Suddenly, I hear a door creak open. My sister Cameo walks ,as quite as a mouse, into the kitchen. She sits next to me and I can see that she is shocked to see me. We don't talk as we don't want to wake anyone up. Especially Raphaela and Maxon, with them being such light sleepers. I mean, you could drop a pin and it would still wake them up! I will tell you something, I can see, just from her unusually perky expression with it being morning, that Cameo it worried. I grab her hand and nod to her the nod that tells her I am ok and have no pain. I lied, the chest pain is just getting worse. But I know from experience that if you give it time, it eventually passes. I think it is just the heart muscles stiffening but once I am out and about they must loosen because it soon passes.

I can tell my family struggles to accept that I am going to die soon. They always tell me to say I might die and not that I am defiantly going to. But they are wrong. I know I am going to die. It use to bother me but now, I couldn't care less. They quicker, the less people it will effect and the less people it effects, the better. I know most people have a bucket list of things they want to do before they die but there is just one thing I want to do. I know it might sound stupid, but I want to go swimming with dolphins. For most people, that is just a really simple thing but for me, just to swim would be amazing. But it is never going to happen, there in nowhere in Warrington that does swimming with dolphins and I can't travel outside of Warrington and there is no way I would be able to swim. At all.

Finally, I get a reply of Alex,

"U COMIN SG TONIGHT?"

I reply,

"Yes, I am coming to the support group tonight. I have a challenge for you."

"WHT IS IT?"

"Buy a dictionary XD!"

"-_- "

"By the way, if you could do one thing before you die, what would it be?"

"TRAVEL THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS WBU?"

"Don't laugh but go swimming with dolphins."

"K? BUT THTS A BIT BORIN INIT?"

"But, there is nowhere in Warrington that does it and I can't travel far and to be fully honest, I can't exactly swim can I!"

"GOOD POINT! C Y L8R"

His text talk really annoys me. Note to self, call him next time.

I get changed into my Asking Alexandria top and black ripped jeans and pull on my black patent Doc Martins. Finally, I get Coen to give me a lift to my support group as Cameo is still out doing the school runs. It's only a 10 minute walk usually! One of the little ones must have fell over or had a tantrum.

When I arrive at the support group, I realise Alex is waiting with Jess outside! He must be waiting for me! Oh no! Coen will take the mick out of me forever! Actually, he already does! I get out of the car and walk over to Jess and Alex. We all have a group hug and once I see Coen drive off I sit down on the path outside and curl up into a ball. I find it makes my chest hurt less and loosen. Jess questions me and Alex gets worried but I soon tell them I am fine and stand up again, wincing straight away.

"Chest pain." I say.

"Again?" They both say. "You really need to get that checked out!" Says Jess.

"I will at some point! Anyway I am fine now! Don't tell anyone though! Please!" I beg.

"Fine." They both finally agree.

It is getting close to the end of the session when for some reason, two of the last names on the list of the people who have passed away, really catch my attention:

Hazel Lancaster

Gus Walters

After hearing these names, I feel drawn to look at Isaac and when I do, I see the pain on his face and the tears welling up in his eyes.

Once the session is over, I go outside with Alex and Jess but for some reason I don't understand, they pull me to one side. They tell me that they both have an operation on the same day. It is only minor but it is tomorrow and they are both really scared. I reassure them that they will be fine. I hear a loud honk of a horn and I know that it is Coen, even without looking. He has so little patience only he would beep that many times. I hug my two friends and reassure them one last time that they will be fine. I begin to walk over to Coen when I feel a horrible sharp pain in my chest. I gesture to Coen that I will be one minute and I hunch over and try to get my balance because one again I feel dizzy. This is the worst chest pain I have had yet. Suddenly, my vision becomes blurry, I havn't suffered this before. Before I know it I feel a sharp pain run through my body and everything goes black.

_**Coen POV-**_

"Blue! Blue! Blue are you ok? Blue? Can you hear me Blue?" There is no response. I pull out my phone and call for an ambulance. I feel her heart for a pulse or anything. Luckily, there is a pulse. But it is so weak I can only just feel it. My little sister. Why did it have to happen to her. Of all the horrible people in the world, the murders, the thieves. Why does she need to have this stupid cancer! The ambulance arrives and I call Cameo to get the kids and come to the hospital straight away. She asks me what has happened.

I reply, "I don't even know, I was in the car waiting for her when all of a sudden I saw her hunch over clutching her chest and then she just fell to the ground. I felt for a pulse but it was so weak there was practically not one! Just get down here now!"

I see my little sister being pulled on to the stretcher and hear the paramedics asking who is going to travel in the ambulance with me. I run up and explain that I am her brother and I was just calling sister to get all the kids and to get down to the hospital.

I climb in to the hospital and prepare myself for the worst news possible even though I don't know what that is yet. I brace myself for that all well too known hospital smell and the flashbacks of the doctors telling us she may not pull through or that a surgery didn't improve my condition and worst of all, the day the doctor told us that she has heart cancer.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Sorry I haven't wrote in ages! If you are liking this story could you pm me as I need help choosing what happens after this! Don't forget to favourite, follow and most importantly; review! I really appreciate this and thank you so much for even reading up to this point. Sorry about how depressing some people will find this.**_

_**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own The Fault In Our Stars**_

**Alex POV-**

I get a phone call. It is Blue. She is crying.

"Blue? Blue? Blue what has happened, why are you crying? Is it your heart? Blue? Blue answer me!" She isn't replying and I find myself crying, "Please."

"I had surgery a couple of weeks ago. I had a heart transplant. I thought it was going to cure me and make me live to at least 20, like Sienna did. Rejected. The cancer had already spread and it spread straight back to my heart. I have to have a wheelchair! I can't even walk! I am a mess and I want to die!" She replied.

"Don't say that! I know you don't mean it! Which hospital are you at?"

She hung up. But just before that I heard an announcement coming from the old, battered speakers and just from that I know where she is.

I tell my dad everything and he drives me to her as fast as he could without getting a ticket. I go to her room and knock. She isn't answering. I try to open the door. It isn't locked but there is something blocking it. She obviously doesn't want me to go in. That just worries me. I push the door with all my strength and it finally opens. I can't believe what I am seeing. For the first time I am seeing Blues wrists and legs. I did notice why she never wore shorts or skirts and why she always wore a plain, thin long sleeve top under her t-shirts or vest tops. I am shocked. I don't know what to think.

Curled up in the corner trying to cover her legs and wrists up but I know what I saw. I run up to her and pull the sharp, shiny knife from her hand.

"What the hell are you doing!" I ferociously yell at her.

"Please, I don't want to live like this." She replied through the tears streaming down her face like rivers crashing on the rocks that are her nose and lips.

I just ignore her and grab some bandages from the oak drawers and wrap her wrists and legs tightly in a attempt to stop the bleeding. Then she pulls on her black, Asking Alexandria, long sleeve top and black, Hollister trackie bottoms and she sits on her bed and snuggles up to me. After a while I hear her purring like a kitten and I know she is asleep but I stay anyway. I sit there stroking her hair and eventually drift off to a peaceful sleep.

**Blue POV-**

I wake up snuggle up next to Alex on my hospital bed. When he wakes up he acts as if he didn't see anything yesterday and I am so grateful for that. I try to leave the bed and not stir Alex from his slumber but he is too aware. He doesn't get up but he simply just grabs the back of my top. Even in the midst of his slumber he is all too aware of me moving and what I am capable of. I enclose my hand on his and we spend the next ten wonderful minutes together. Suddenly the dull, faded blue curtain separating us from the rest of the world, is pulled open and we are once again welcomed into the world of misery and pain. My doctor Rachel come striding in to the room. I wish I was her, she has beautiful blonde hair down to her waist cut so straight it could have been done with a ruler. It looks like gold compared to my blue, just below my shoulders, choppy hair. Her waist is small enough to not be considered fat but big enough to not be considered anorexic like me. I know most girls my age want to be skinnier but to be honest, I would kill to gain a few pounds. My complete lack of figure is so obvious when Rachel walks in, it is like a luminous sign appears over my head, it is totally humiliating. But I forgive her for being so perfect because she is the kindest nurse I have had yet and I have had a lot of doctors and nurses that has been averagely nice but Rachel has outshone them like the northern star in a jet black sky.

Alex peels away from me and exits the room so slowly, it was obvious he did not want to leave. Rachel takes up her usual position of sitting on the most uncomfortable chair in the world which is beside my bed and tells me the latest batch of bad news.

One Week.

That is all I have left if I stay in hospital but even less if I leave. One week. But only if I say in bad for most of the day and don't do anything that may but stress on my heart. So, I can't leave my room. There is one problem with that. It is Alex and Jess' surgery and I am not going to miss telling them good luck! I attempt to persuade Rachel to let me go and see them but she claims it will be too risky and if anything happens to me, they won't have the equipment to do anything about it. I beg and beg and beg but she isn't persuaded. It is obvious that there is only one way to go and see them. To sneak there. There surgery is at 3 and it is 2. At least I have some time for preparation. Then, Cameo and Coen come bursting in and immediately wrap their soft, warm arms around me weak body. My other doctor Tony, who by the way is short, fat, bald and an extreme ego boost, must have told them about the week. I feel sorry for them.

"I am so sorry." I tell them through my tears.

"Why are you sorry?" Cameo replies.

"I have wasted so much of your life, ruined relationships and made mum and dad leave us and it was all a waste. I am so thankful for all the continuous help and support you have given me. I love you both." I manage to say between gasps for air.

I place a letter in Cameos hand and tell her to only read it once I have passed. She tightens her grasp as she realises it will be the last thing I will write. Then, I tell her I need to go to the bathroom and realise it is 2:55. I get out of the room then once I am a a safe distance away, put the hair over my face then run to the room that Alex and Jess are in. Once I get there I have chest pains that feel like someone is stabbing my in the heart. Alex and Jess' beds are close enough for me to sit in between and talk to them both at once.

"One week" is all I manage to get out before I burst in to tears.

"One week, you don't mean..." Alex begins but stops when he sees me nodding.

They both burst into tears and then they are taken away from me and to theatre. Then, through the veil over my eyes the tears have created, I find both of their bags and slip in an envelope marked,

"Only when I am dead."

I stand up and try to catch my breath. I can't. The chest pains are only getting worse and I keep on blurring in and out of consciousness. This must be what it feels like to die. I press the red button on the side aggressively until I fall to the ground. When I am on the group I hear someone run into the room then shout for help. I hear the word Rachel so am guessing they know who I am. Everything is silent and the only thing reminding me I am still alive is the pain in my heart until that finally numbs down to nothing.


End file.
